I intended to write about Cleveland Complainers today, and the flaws in their arguments. It is kind of a pissy post, but as I was making lunch for myself I found myself thinking about another blog I read today.
The content of this woman's post went like this: WAAAAAAH so TV, last night, they hooked up this cute girl with this schlub and it's SO SEXIST and GOD all ugly women should just go off in the desert and die, shouldn't they, because women are only judged by their attractiveness, ever ever ever ever GOD so unfair. Men are pigs, even the ugly ones think they deserve supermodels, and never ever would they date someone who has "inner beauty" but is fat or ugly.
A bit of background about this woman: She is not attractive. She is overweight. She is very active in the Harry Potter fandom. She is a pretty decent writer except all her stories kind of read the same way.
So this got me thinking: Human beings are innately wired to prefer pretty things. So her point is already completely invalid--people like hot people. Hot people have an easier time of it. They're more fun to look at. That's the way life is.
Secondly, I find myself pretty attractive. I work out on a regular basis, I dress nicely, and I put time and effort into my appearance. I don't want to date a guy who doesn't give a shit what I look like. I work damn hard to look like this. Appreciate it.
We live in a capitalist society. We reward effort. I have put effort into my looks, and I am reaping the rewards. To ask that those rewards be taken from me and given to someone who can't be bothered to go to the gym because she's got "inner beauty"--that's like levying a tax on the rich to finance welfare...oh wait.
It's not like I rely on looks alone. If pressed, I'd probably say I have "inner beauty." I read a lot and hold interesting opinions on what I read. I support my friends. I love my family. I carry on interesting and deep conversations. On the inside, I am just as worthy as anyone else.
Would I want to date a man who was all into this "inner beauty" stuff? Upon further thought, I don't think so. Yes, it's nice that men can realize there's a brain above these boobs. I expect that. But to date a man who didn't care what I looked like--to gain weight unexpectedly, and not be encouraged to take it off, to stop wearing makeup and have it go unnoticed--to date a man who was a feminist, and therefore a weenie who would be completely comfortable staying at home with the kids while I made all the money: that is unthinkable.
The older I get, the more I realize my mother didn't raise any idiots. She made damn sure I was encouraged in my academic pursuits; I can never remember in my entire life being told "no" in a bookstore. But she also made sure that I had my bases covered: I can cook. I can clean. I can sew, and I can be pretty. She gave me the set of skills I will need to attract the kind of man I want--the kind of man who will say "Yes dear, you can stay home with the kids until kindergarten, that's fine financially...I'm starving, what's for dinner?...I love you...I support your career, and I think your work is great...I love my career too..."--the kind of man, in short, that I would be proud to marry and who would be happy to have a wife who is intelligent, domestic, feminine, and competant.
I don't want to be worshipped because I've overcome the huge-ass obstacle of Having a Uterus. I want recognition for my talents, all of them, and some of my biggest ones are in the kitchen. No one can ever make me ashamed of that.
4 comments:
oh my god you need to tell all of your girlfriends to read this post
ive never read such brilliance in my life, seriously.
Love,
Sean
Though your argument that effort put into looks should be rewarded has some validity, you seem to be forgetting that an awfully large component of looks is random genetics. My body type will never change no matter how much I may work out. And those with, say, birth defects will NEVER be considered attractive regardless of their efforts. Beauty standards may vary from country to country, era to era, but it is safe to say that disfigured will never be "hot".
It seems like you're just trying to warp your vanity as self confidence. Yes, being admired for your looks is nice. I'd be lying to say that I don't enjoy it. But prefering being ogled to having a man love you for the person you are? Are you serious?
I am still curious as to your identity, (your first post seems as though you know me personally) but moving on...I think that perhaps I was not clear. Ogling is also not really okay--it's like stealing. It also pays no homage to the effort put in.
What I meant was that I would never want a man to tell me it didn't matter what I looked like, I was loved completely regardless of my physical being. That, to me, is like saying "it doesn't matter that you're smart/driven/competant, I love you for all your other attributes." It's a total package, and looks are part of that.
Anonymous posters are not necessarily related. I made the most recent post, but not the first.
And yes, that is more clear than what your original post said. But my opinions regarding your effort theory of beauty still stand.
Post a Comment