Insanity and Delusions

when did happiness become insane
because if this is delusion
I'll stay deluded
I got no evidence
life is easier on those without stars in their eyes.

Happiness needs more ambassadors, I've decided. Especially in this part of town. It seems that every time I pipe up with a "this is wonderful/I've got it figured out/I did really well!/I like this" someone comes back with a "no it's not, it's shitty/you've got it all wrong, here's why/well, I failed/I hate it."

And this disturbs me. It's fine if other people want to be unhappy--that's your decision to make. But don't rain on my parade. It's not some graduate student's job to tell me why my dating/marriage schedule is all off because of some neurological study and then not listen when I tell him why I'm skeptical of such studies and then tell me that all science that isn't physics is bullshit anyway.

Happy is better than sad, right? Or did I miss this memo? When did our culture become so obsessed with "realism"?

On a similar note, I notice that girls who claim to be "anti-drama" (and here I am thinking specifically of some girls I went to high school with and not one college classmate who makes the same claim and actually backs it up, so no offense Lisy) are generally the most dramatic, and the people who say "life's too short to be anything but happy" don't live it out.

I have this personal philosophy based almost exclusively on something my flute teacher told me. We were playing a duet and I was slightly out of tune, but flustered so that I couldn't tell whether I was flat or sharp. "Just change it," she said. "If it sounds worse, do the opposite."

And that's pretty much how I live. If I'm not happy, and I can't figure out why, I'll keep changing things until I am happy. When others complain to me about their low spirits, I will happily listen and suggest changes. But the minute someone is unwilling to make any changes, demonstrating to me a desire to whine rather than be happy, I lose all patience.

Either change things, or stop complaining. If you're not willing to work to be happy, at least don't drag others down with you. I am happy. Nothing you say can change that fact. You will not wake me up. You will not enlighten me. I have woken and enlightened myself.

One more thing I don't understand. If I'm attractive and enjoy being attractive instead of walking around with a massive guilt complex about all the other people who aren't attractive, I'm shallow.

But if I seem to downplay my intelligence, I'm a stupid bitch with no future who's holding back the women's movement. Why the double standard?

No one wants the intelligence playing field leveled. That's just as much a product of random genetics as looks are.

Yes, financial status can buy you education. But you can also purchase nice clothing, hair cuts/products, and and makeup--you'd be surprised what money can do for your appearance.

My point is--they're just facets of the same thing. So why such a fuss over one and not the other? I am happy with who I am. All of me. That includes being found attractive by members of the opposite sex. And the same sex, come to that.