Good in the Rain

My best friend J got married this past weekend, on the day I turned 22. At her wedding reception I saw an old friend, Abby. Abby and I used to sit next to each other in band, laughing. She played the piccolo and dated a steady stream of attractive-but-stupid-and-poorly-socialized men. Abby, who when I told her to open her throat to help her low notes come out richer, said "oh, it's like giving head!" Abby is married and has a nine month old daughter.

Strange times, these are.

Last night I constructed a bouldering route at the rock wall. It is difficult. Everyone should try it.

It has come to my attention that I am hypocritical or carry double standards about many things. Upon further consideration, I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. It just ties into the universal human need to be unique or somehow superior to everyone else. We hold ourselves to very different standards of behavior than those to which we hold other people. Here are a few of my double standards:

I claim to hate weddings but secretly spend a lot of time planning the perfect anti-wedding.
If you flirt with my boyfriend, I will mentally label you a whore. Even if you're a virgin. However, if I talk to your boyfriend and you get upset about it, you are obviously insecure.
I commiserate with my parents about the spending habits of friends. I have not balanced a checkbook since coming to college and rarely know how much money I have and how much money I've spent.

To close on a more positive note, I've just finished Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones. I'd be lying if I said I didn't know why I bought it (which is what this sentence said previously): it was a test. I don't care about the gimmick, nor do I particularly care for it. But reading, for the first time, a book that is kind of about rape, with no nightmares, no flashbacks, no waking up in terror, and no tears is...a non-feeling. I can just read it and say "this is interesting, but it also feels kind of flat, writing-wise." I have no feelings to get in the way. Nothing pre-empting my judgement. Nothing derailing my life.