Oh My God.

Undergraduate ladies: This is not a flattering look. A shirt, belt, shoes, and tights is not enough clothing to keep you properly covered. Look around you. Are you in the privacy of your own home? If the answer is no, then you need to have all your genitalia shielded from the elements. If you have put on a shirt and tights, and things feel a little breezy still, the answer is NOT TO SLAP A MOTHERFUCKING BELT ON TOP OF IT. IT'S TO PUT ON PANTS, YOU MORON. Tights are NOT ENOUGH material between your ladybits and the outside world. You don't look cute. You don't look trendy. You don't look sexy. You like like a person who is too stupid to realize they've left the house WITHOUT PANTS.

Yes, another feminism rant.

I have read this article in the Daily Mail, and the comments on it, about the perils of feminism and how one woman regrets her career choices.

And I have read Jezebel’s counterargument, which I find well-constructed.

And after all this, I have only this to say: If feminists continue to prioritize, laud, or support traditionally male/masculine traits and goals, such as promiscuous sex, career goals, and hairy legs (if I may be so stereotypical) over traditionally female/feminine traits and goals, such as marriage, babies, and domestic duties, then we are trying to bring down the status quo with more of the status quo.

The problems of sexism won’t be solved by turning women into men. They won’t be solved by shaming women for daring to be stereotypically feminine. By stating that motherhood, babies, and career sacrifices are only for “bad feminists,” we are perpetuating the cycle. I’m a feminist–a pretty hardcore one–and I love to bake. Love to iron. And love to cook for my boyfriend. I’m also totally devoted to my career. Paradox? Not really.

Feminism doesn’t mean trashing all the old choices and only choosing our new options. It means that we are all free to make our choices from a buffet that is now twice as big. I, for one, am grateful.

Happy Anniversary, Roe.

"Is it that some people who are not successful (or satisfied) in worldly terms find self-esteem in being able to look down on others? In the past --and still today--there were those who said, "I'm white, you're black. Therefore, I'm better than you are. or "I'm male, you're female. Therefore, I'm better than you are." In many circles, that is no longer acceptable. Maybe the new language is, "I'm moral and you're immoral. Therefore I'm better than you are." I don't see love and concern in the eyes of those who picket outside abortion clinics; I see hatred, condescension, and a feeling of moral superiority."

--Sarah Weddington, the attorney who won Roe v. Wade.

So proudly pro-choice, pro-love, pro-parenting, and pro-life, all life today.

Rejected Grant Application Essays

Dear American Heart Association:

Please give me money so I can have a real job someday.

Love,
Leigh

Dear AHA:

I am good at science. If you give me money, I will cure cancer.

Love,
Leigh.

Dear AHA:

I'll totally bake you cupcakes if you give me money. All of you.

Love,
Leigh.

Dear AHA:

I AM DO GOOD AT SCIENCEING. PLEASE MONEY ME FOR THE MORE OF SCIENCE. MONEY PLEASE YES OKAY. CUPCAKE.

Love,
Leigh.

I'm Gonna Be Your Number One

Talking with the boyfriend last night about the loss of virginity, and how we intend to talk to our kids about sex. His initial comment was: "Those boys are going to be having sex at fourteen. Gotta get started!" My response, of course, was to ask if he'd also want his daughters having sex at fourteen. He turned green.

Now, my boyfriend lost his virginity at fourteen. It was such a positive experience that he never saw a girl naked again until two years later. Although he likes to brag that he started having sex so young, he knows he wasn't ready, and that his best female friend wasn't really ready either. And we all know how I lost mine, so...

In the end, we decided that, regardless of gender, our kids are never having sex. Ever.

Just kidding. In the end, we decided that our hypothetical future children of either gender will be asked to follow three guidelines when it comes to sex. Is it safe? Is it respectful? Is it fun? I think that pretty much covers it.

Because Here at UVA We Love Us Some TJ

"Bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will, to be rightful, must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal laws must protect, and to violate would be oppression." --Thomas Jefferson: 1st Inaugural, 1801. ME 3:318

Shut Up and Let Me Go

Remember way back in the day when a nasty anonymous commenter told me that people (s/he meant "women" obviously) like me were the reason having a uterus was a disability? Yeah, I'm still not any happier with feminism. Or, at least, the brand of feminism I'm finding at Jezebel.

I identify as feminist. I believe in equal pay for equal work, and that while I may not physically be a match for many men, intellectually I can more than hold my own. I believe strongly in the need to maintain women's reproductive rights. I believe that domestic violence and rape should carry stronger stigmas in our judicial system, and that those stigmas should be gender-equivalent--ie, if your girlfriend beats you up in a jealous rage, she will face equal punishment and not be written off as "hormonal" or "irrational." I have never blamed my period for anything, ever.

But there's a lot about feminism, or a particular brand of feminism, that bothers me. It bothers me that I'll be seen by some as "less feminist" because I enjoy domestic pursuits--I've written extensively about my love of cooking and baking. I'm automatically a bad feminist because I take pride in my appearance and wish to be valued for that among other things. And my friends and I are struggling to integrate our wish for equality with our wish to take time off and raise our hypothetical future children.

Here's one thing that really gets me. Women who crave traditional domesticity--engagement, (complete with ring) marriage, taking the man's last name, cooking and cleaning and raising children--are "anti-feminist" for wanting the status quo. Hey, Jezebelles. Men (some men) want this too. Men want a nuclear family. They want to belong to someone. Want to feel that someone belongs to them. This is not a weak, feminine viewpoint. It's a basic human desire. If you look down on women for wanting this, then you're denying men the opportunity to admit they want it too. And that just furthers the stereotypes (men can't talk about emotions) you're "trying" so hard to tear down.

The engagement ring thing also drives me nuts. It's a sign that you're "taken." That someone has a "claim" on you. Are those such bad things? My boyfriend loves to state that he's taken, that he's mine. He is thrilled by the fact that he belongs to me. And yes, ethically-derived diamonds. They're not that hard to find. The thing I do understand is the cause/effect of this all: your relationship isn't good because you have an engagement ring. You have an engagement ring (one would hope) because your relationship is good. And you want to advertise that you're "taken." That you are soon to "belong" to someone. (and he will also belong to you, although that part gets conveniently discarded) To me, the ring is just a symbol, and one that goes both ways: I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine.

It all goes back to something I've learned: rejecting something does not make you cooler than it. You are not a better feminist because you're not in a relationship, if you'd actually rather be in a relationship. And you're not a better feminist if you'd rather be alone. Just as you're not a better feminist because you're unemployed.

What feminism really needs is less talk, less fingerpointing about who are "good" and "bad" feminists, less handwringing about why people don't want to identify as feminist, and more ACTION. Instead of getting pissed off on the internet about patriarchy, why not donate some time or money to Planned Parenthood, or the Unitarian Universalist church, or whatever your charity of choice? All this rhetoric is getting us nowhere. It's all sound and fury, signifying nothing, and the people who are getting shit done are lacking in support. We can argue forever about what feminism means, and to whom. Or we could do something productive with our time instead. How'bout pushing the Ledbetter Act again? Or beefing up the Violence Against Women Act? Or staging a counterprotest over at the local-est abortion clinic?